Perhaps the age-old adage, two's company, three's a crowd was made for the outbreak of Covid-19. Indeed, our redefined understanding of what social distancing means, has impacted any and all spheres, from public transport to buying milk. Music critic for The Telegraph, Neil McCormick, feels the impact of Covid-19 most acutely in the reformed gig circuit. His scathing piece for the paper leaves us under no illusion as to which side of the fence he sits.
He begins, asking the rhetorical question: “When is a live gig not a live gig?” before launching in to a list of the events that have now become common place, referring to a “frigid silence [that] looms at the end of yet another amateurish busk through a formerly much loved song, the self-conscious star awkwardly squints into the fisheye lens to read inane messages scrolling past”. McCormick, it seems, is not a fan of such gigs.
He continues, criticising the Take That reunion which took place yesterday evening. Their sentiment “If we can’t go to the stadium … we’ll bring the stadium to us!” is appropriated by McCormick, who feels a more realistic note would be: “We’ll bring our living rooms into your living room. Picture and sound quality may vary according to your wi-fi package.”
For McCormick: “The worst part, though, is always the terrible silence that opens up as songs come to an end, frequently followed by stilted repartee from performers uncertain who (if anyone) they might be addressing.”
His conclusion, though apt, is slightly more morose than our current era calls for: “Take away the crowd, and all you're left with is musicians playing with themselves. I’d rather leave them to it, thank you very much.” It may be worth someone reminding McCormick that he can always just turn his computer off.